I made a horrible mistake.

I got involved in an internet discussion about cleaning chains and cogs.  I know, I know;  it's like talking to the Pope about birth control!  I somehow thought that there were reasonable people out there, and there are, but they don't get involved in such matters.
  One of the things I mentioned was that I had finally tried one of Park Tools chain cleaning gizmos.

I think they work quite well.  The instructions are simple enough, you can use their cleaner or any other citrus degreaser.  Just fill it up, clamp it on the chain, freewheel the cranks backwards a few times and the little brushes and sponge do the dirty work.  Wipe off the chain afterwards, let it dry for a while and add whatever lube you prefer.  Some people complain that you have the cover the floors with towels to catch all the splatter,but I haven't found that true.  I just leave a well used paint tray under it and dump the cleaner and the rinse water into the tray on the floor.

I usually kick it out of the way, intending to pour out the goo and rinse the pan, but it usually sits in a corner until it dries, looks scuzzier than before and is ready for the next use.  Ok, call me a slob, but it works for me!  I was only mildly chastised for buying into a widget which obviously (for reasons still secret to me) can't possibly clean anything.  I think it does a nice job.
   What really made it hit the fan was mentioning the use of Simple Green.  That opened a new can of worms.  It seems that Simple Green will destroy the bike.  Somebody somewhere has found that it has, possibly been linked to rare cases of "hydrogen embrittlement."  I Googled that, and found a 27 page document where I could find no mention of Simple Green before I fell asleep.  From what this Acolyte said, there is an aerospace formula from Simple Green which can be used instead.  That will prevent the "embrittlement" of the aluminum components.

    Buddy.  it's a frickin' BICYCLE! 

 I'm not transporting orphaned children to another galaxy!  I'm going to the store, to work maybe on a weekend to the lake.  I'm sure the aerospace version, which costs even more than Pedros or Parks cleaners, is better.

 But Heah!  It's a frickin' BICYCLE!  

I have confidence that I can wear out or break the entire bike before molecular degradation sets into the chainring.  Maybe I'm wrong and I should worry that I will walk out to the garage and find it full of this:

or this.

But you would think that sometime in the past 40 years I would have seen it by now.