Somebody told me I have an unusual "collection" of bikes.
I was insulted. We all know the inviolate truth. The proper number of bikes one must have is expressed by the simple mathematical formula, N+1. The word collection, in this context, refers to a purposeful accumulation of related objects. The definition does not, nor has it ever, since it's first known written usage in 1460 (I'm not kidding, I think of shit like this.), ever implied a use or action. A friend told me, "One cannot have too many bikes." He is a Doctor, I have to trust him. (He is a PHD, but hell, still counts, right?) Was he considering a collection? N+1 can always be applied to the collection,
especially here in the heart of American Consumerism.
That is why I have a "selection" not a "collection."Selection is a word referring to a carefully chosen quality and characteristic as in "natural selection" or breeding. The word isn't really that old. It's first written usage was 1646 and of course comes from the word select which is a surprising spry youngster among words itself. As a verb, select implies a choice of quality for some use or other.
So, there you have it, it's no wonder I was insulted.
My bikes don't just sit around together like a bunch of postage stamps. They have purpose. On behalf of their usefulness I must pursue their defense. Now that the metaphysical has been narrowed down, how do we translate this into physical and mathematical truth. I have irrefutably (in my world) established that the application of the inviolable truth, N+1, applies to a collection of bikes. When usage is satisfied and all available selections are utilized during the resolution of the needs, how can we express it mathematically ? Is "N" too simple an expression? I think -1 represents the elimination of need, N still represents the current number of bikes owned and +1 equals the continuing desire for frivolous accumulation.
So, the rational cyclist can reach a mathematical equilibrium with a balanced equation -1N+1=N.
That is how I talk myself out of building a fixie!