This is a shameless attempt to save the the most advanced civilization in
history from imminent self destruction by eliminating carbon emission,
dependence on foreign sources of fuel,obesity, hypertension and diabetes.
Cycling accomplishes all those things at once and helps us develop a better
understanding of ourselves, each other and our relationship to the cosmos.

Oh, horse puckey!
I like to ride bikes, have been doing it all my life.
The rest of that crap is just a fringe benefit,
and the blogosphere gives me a chance to share my interior
monologue with virtual rather than imaginary friends.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Drunken Elephants

       Despite what we experienced this past winter, here in Michigan we enjoy weather the world should envy.  I think the mean temperature is 50f at night with 70f during the day, give or take a couple of guesses.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Around noon, I was out enjoying the intoxication of perfect comfort in the outdoors and riding around without a breeze to fight or a temperature to break a sweat.  Stopping at a an intersection near a mall entrance I was paralyzed with fear.  Some thing in an old Ford Taurus was meandering through one lane after another at about 15 mph.  It was obviously drunk on more than the weather and I was wondering if I would even be safe with the curb between us.  As I watched it approach, it went from the far side of the left turn lane, clear across two other lanes, nearly hit the curb 100 feet from me, then wandered back to the opposite side of the left turn lane right in front of me and I realized it wasn't drunk.  "It" was a teenager driving with a cell phone in his ear.  He continued his meanderings another block before finally stopping in a lane at the light.  Terrified, I looked to see how the driver in the car next to me reacted.  She was sitting in complete comfort at the stop sign, oblivious to any and all things around 
because she was busy writing a text message on the phone sitting in her lap!
I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of loyalty to Google.  How soon can they rescue us from this madness?  In a fit of panic stricken desperation I retreated to the city's MTP (multi-tasking path).   
There, I knew I was bigger than the one strolling a baby while walking the dog listening to an Ipod and texting their friends while roller blading.  
I felt better there.  I was  in danger of being closelined,
 but could aim for the dog, they have the sense to move.  
So this is why people don't commute by bike.
Back in the relative comfort of the bike paths I was awestruck by the wisdom of the city planners.
Not only did they construct an integrated network of MTP's for the residents to abuse and cyclists to avoid.
Both strip joints in town are on opposite ends of the trail!  
Genius.Now, we can spend an evening at one, get totally shit faced, make a fool of ourselves, get thrown out

and we can just pedal our drunken asses down to another one to finish the night.

Maybe they'll start a new version of "bike night" once they figure this out.

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