This is a shameless attempt to save the the most advanced civilization in
history from imminent self destruction by eliminating carbon emission,
dependence on foreign sources of fuel,obesity, hypertension and diabetes.
Cycling accomplishes all those things at once and helps us develop a better
understanding of ourselves, each other and our relationship to the cosmos.

Oh, horse puckey!
I like to ride bikes, have been doing it all my life.
The rest of that crap is just a fringe benefit,
and the blogosphere gives me a chance to share my interior
monologue with virtual rather than imaginary friends.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I could not help but laugh

  Ok, it was 2am.  I couldn't get back to sleep.  My sinuses were all clogged up and swollen, I couldn't breathe.  My trusty nasal spray was empty and I couldn't stand it.  I threw my clothes on, went to the garage, hopped on Byron, turned on the trusty dynamo and rode the 1/2 mile or so to Meijer(a regional Target/Walmart competitor) so I could get a fresh fix of nasal spray and get back to sleep.
   I got to the store, threw Byron onto the bike rack, locked the ring lock and trotted, panting and wheezing across the "Thrifty Acres" of Meijer to get my fix.  Coming out with the opened bottle stuck far up my nose and sucking the heavenly goo like a coke fiend at a sorority party, I notice one of the city's finest doing a slow driveby, looking at Byron all alone at the bike rack.  Nothin' to worry about, I could breathe again, give me your worst.  He continued on, I walked over, unlocked the bike, donned my helmet, turned on the lazer flashy thing and headed for the parking lot.
   He was out there,
lurking at the end of the parking aisle two rows down.  Undaunted and convinced I could give him a good chase (now that I could breathe), I rode on out, right past him and into the following lane.   I got to the edge of the parking lot, made the requisite rolling stop, turned onto the street and,
damn,
he was right behind me.  He lost interest quickly, sped up to the next light, entered the left turn lane and waited.  Since he was going my way I followed, took over the lane behind him, signaled and followed him into the intersection.  He took off, turned into another parking lot and, by the time I passed the driveway he was coming out and did another slow drive by looking me over all the way...WHAT THE F...!  I mean it's nice to know that he's out there watching over at that time but... damn!  Didn't he have something better to do?
   I finally decided that I must have looked suspicious.

 I was wearing a white fleece top, reflectorized cuffs on my pants, riding a fully compliant bike with Germany qualified lighting in addition to a great big reflective sign
on my butt.
Who wouldn't be suspicious when
this
is what they normally see riding around at night.
Maybe he was using his hood camera to make a training video to show the other cops what a bike looks like.
One can hope.

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